What is it like to wake up every morning to a lie? I am still in control. I haven't used in days or weeks. I do better when I just use a little. I still have a job. I don't have a criminal record. I am less irritable when I use so it is better for everyone.
These are all statements I have heard from addicts over the past 13 years. The truth is that addiction chooses the addict the moment they wake up every day. The only choice that exists for the addict is to choose recovery every day. This is the core of the "just for today" model. I cannot control what took place yesterday or will take place tomorrow. The only thing I can control is what I choose to do in this moment. I can choose to work a recovery plan or I am already choosing the inevitable use of a substance. This is what many addicts find so daunting about recovery. There is no getting away from drugs or alcohol. It is a lifelong effort that gets easier with prolonged sobriety, but never is cured.
Addiction is an abusive relationship. The addiction wants to isolate the addict, control their thoughts, and shame them into submission. This is why we emphasize the need for community in recovery plans. Hazeldon is my preferred treatment center in the United States because they embody the idea that recovery is about connection and addiction is about isolation. I have never witnessed a successful long-term recovery effort that didn't involve others. Accountability, support, encouragement, and healing require others.
The first step in recovery is not about being powerless or a life that is unmanageable. The first step of recovey is about admitting to ourself before admitting to anyone else. It is waking up in the morning and being honest with the face in the mirror about the absolute need to pursue recovery today. Some days will be harder than others. The initial goal is finding a strategy to consistently remind oneself each morning that recovery is the only choice because the illness and lies of addiction have already chosen you.
Reach out to a loved one. Go to a meeting. Talk to your pastor. Call a hotline number to find a detox. The longer you try to mentally battle the illness of addiction, the less likely you are to remain sober. Action is a requirement. "Go".
SAMHSA National Hotline: 800-662-HELP (4357)
Commentaires